Jim Dethmer taught me the power of owning mistakes and gave me the words that I’ve used ever since.

“Before we begin, I said I was going to ____. But I did not ____. I want to take full responsibility for it and check if there’s anything, within my ability, I can do to clean it up with you”.

Danny Meyer further adds a helpful framework.

• Aware you made it
• Acknowledge it
• Apologize for it
• Act to fix it
• Apply additional generosity

Mistake can cripple or a renewable resource for learning.

A leader, politician, restaurant, friend or father.

That’s the difference between good and remarkable, if you choose.

What do these have in common?

These experiences can be felt. They can’t be fully captured in words.

The joy of language is that it can describe and shared.

But make no mistakes, in doing so, we cut it off from its possibilities and fullness.

If you think 10 days of silence can be gotten through words, you’re missing out.

P.s. can a spoon also be a bottle opener?

Photo taken in Singapore 2015

Of course, it’s not true.

It’s actually 4,160 weeks and we might not leave to 80.

If you’re 30 years old today, that’s roughly 3,000 weeks left. 40 years old, 2,000 weeks.

The universe has been around 80 billions years, we are like a firefly blinking once in a night.

This is not forever.

Thank you for the remainder, Oliver.

Photo taken in Cholula Mexico, 2013

Looks a lot like helping.

Heck, maybe you are really helping someone.

You sacrifice your time and your money to dig someone out of a ditch. Your friends and people around you say you’re a good person.

But sometimes, something inside makes you feel that you don’t really want, but you do it anyway. You tell yourself, you’re a good person. It’s been a long day and you did good. Another day tomorrow.

Then one day, you are a little cranky and over it. But you can’t stand to see other person suffer.

Today is the day, you really can’t help. You’re spent and tied up. You can’t be the hero.

Today, are you still a good person or are you addicted to helping?

Photo taken in San Miguel Mexico 2013

The other day, I went for coffee in a cafe. As I waited my turn, I chatted with the person in front and learned that she wanted water. Knowing where it was, I pointed her in the right direction. She was delighted and gave me a big cheer. The interaction was a best I’ve had all day. She was positive and she was open for connection.

Now, the server, who was getting paid to be there, was overworked and a little cranky. As she took my order, she mumbled thank you, implying that I wasn’t polite in the way I spoke to her.

But what she didn’t realise was that I had helped the person in front of me and I wasn’t intentional in the way I asked for a refill. She took away the goodwill that was accumulated by the many exceptional servers that came before.

The point is this. Work is personal. We bring our energy and our mana where we go. When we don’t know that, it’s easy to think that our day sucks and people are out to get us. Where in fact, we are part of making our day and how it turns out.

We get what we give. When the world stinks, for days in a row, maybe it’s us.

余裕 (yo yu), a Japanese term, means having a surplus, slack or extra capacity.

• Having spare time or room
• Being relaxed or composed
• Having financial surplus to spare
• Mental/emotional capacity to handle situations

In the world of cheaper, better and faster, it’s easy to slide down the path of efficiency. We don’t usually embrace yoyu, seeking easily measured productivity. Read more books, earn more money, have more friends.

When I spot a productive and happy person, I nod and I smile.

And I secretly hope that he’ll be my friend.

Thanks for pointing out, Seth.

One way is to learn from people who found it. Digest their books and interview.

Another way is to turn the phone off, travel, be alone and retreat.

Disconnect from the outside world and start a journey to the inside.

If you feel exhausted from the overwhelming flow of information, perhaps it’s because it’s meant to. To give you just enough and keep you addicted. It’s empty calories.

The hard part though… is to cut away from everything you know, and start the hero’s journey.

The journey that start with connecting to the inside.

Peers who look out for you.

Bank that cuts you a deal.

Van that transports your goods.

Suppliers that give you the good stuff.

Physicist at your back pocket.

Chef who understands your labour.

You could wait. You could whine.

Nina Parker didn’t.

She gathered regenerative farmers (like herself), chefs, volunteers and people who believed in her mission to eat better.

120 people paid and showed up.

An afternoon of conversations, panel discussion, market and beautiful food.

She found the like-minded… brought generosity and energy to places that don’t have enough of either. She gave first and she made magic.

No one told her what she should do. She took responsibility and gave away credit.

Alas, you can be Nina too. It’s free but not easy.

The life you always wanted is waiting for you on the other side.

I am waiting for you. We are, all, waiting for you.

Thank you, Nina. And all who added to the magic.