“It’s chill” can mean I’m flexible, I can accommodate you. I can work with you.

It can also mean it’s a chill place. We like it that way and a lot of work has gone into keeping it that way.

It can also mean I don’t care, do what you want.

Or perhaps I’ve not thought through my preference, so I will leave it later and hope its the right kind of chill for both of us.

Being clear takes effort. A chill place takes effort. Knowing, and standing up for what you want, takes effort.

“It’s chill,” is cheap now and expensive later.

When a new technology comes along that could change everything, it’s easy to think that it will.

If we think about the iPhone, internet or cars. How much did your life change? Did you lose your job or find yourself in a new job? Were you worried?

With AI today, I’m not sure how much our grandma, the nurse, or a pastor’s lives would change.

The question we have to ask is… what do we do? How would this technology would change it?

Is this like the camera to painters, the engine to horses, or the aeroplane to ferries?

For the last few years, AI has been getting good at many specific tasks. Now, it can feel like there’s so much to catch up on because of the varied ways of using it.

In life, there are always 3 options. You can change it, ignore it or accept it. What is not a good option is wishing you could change it, and not changing it.

This phrase has been on repeat lately and brought me surprisingly delight each time.

I am more fearless, happier and weirdly, more effective.

I read an interview with Colu Henry where she was facing challenges writing her manuscript. Her therapist told her “to write from love, not for love” and just like that.

I’ve since used it to find a life mentor, request time from busy friends, confess my attraction, compliment strangers, give rejection and discern when I need a nap.

It gave me an orientation. A different way to bring the most goodness to a bad situation. It gave me courage to be vulnerable.

I thought about sharing the specifics of what I did different after the phrase but I shall resist. I believe that the magic is in you using it.

The phrase reminded me of why I started this blog, my wedding planning days and the best parts of who I am.

I hope this mantra can bring that out in you too.

“…from love, not for love.”

A bow to Colu’s therapist and Mymind for the interview.

I’ve been testing a new app, Mesh, to be more thoughtful with my relationships.

It does so by consolidating all the interactions from emails, calendars, phone calls, apps, and social media, then rates the strength of each relationship. Not the content of the messages, just the frequency of contact.

Then, I can set recurring reminders, get notified when someone changes their Twitter or LinkedIn headline or have it choose a few people each day for me to connect with.

A few days of cleaning up contacts, my behavior changed. I started adding emails to calendar events (for tracking). I started texting people I wanted to move from medium relationship to strong relationship.

As Camille pointed out, this is a fool’s errand. Frequency of contact is not a complete indicator of the strength of a relationship. It misses the chemistry, depth, care, and shared experiences.

But who doesn’t want to be thoughtful in their relationship?

Being one of 200 people to congratulate someone on a new job on LinkedIn is not the same as sharing the joy with them at dinner. Worse, it can backfire if it is received as performative. It reminds us of the eager salesman wanting to hit their sales target while losing touch with our humanity.

Alas, a consolidated and updated database of contact information can be useful. If I am visiting a new city, I look up friends who have moved over. If I’m thinking of a new garage workshop, I can find the friend who used to be a builder in his past job and ask for advice. Now, with the additional help of Claude, I can save their previous professional experience and look for people with weird hobbies for my new project.

Modern tools, especially those that quantify and notify, has an invisible force. If we are not careful, it can lead us down a wrong path. As these tool gets cheaper and fancier, I constantly comes back to, what’s it for? Is this worth the money, time, and energy to learn and maintain?

And as David puts in, what’s the point of AI if you end up working more?

A few days ago I met a new connection in the business world. Excited, I brought a few gifts to share my appreciation of his time and generosity.

Our meeting was quick, lunch and out. He too, brought gifts, books that he’d written.

Later in conversations, I learned that the books were a way of making him stand out, be remembered and call for future business.

Immediately, the generosity that I hope, was displaced.

A gift is a cultural artefact. It can curry favours or help you stand out. There are tribes that employ aggressive gifting to show power.

How and why you decide to gift is up to you.

Maybe I would call him for future business, but have nothing to do with the gifts he gave.

It’s entirely possible there is a job that pays you to do what you love. It’s also entirely possible that a new technology comes along and that job is gone.

Bands of poets never were were able to make a grand living. Some became singer songwriters.

Portrait painters lost their job when the camera came along. Picasso did alright.

The record industry was perfect until the internet. Singers got back to performance.

The marketplace pays for souvenirs. They’re paying for stories. They’re paying for things that feel scarce in the moment. They’re paying for a different sort of connection.

There are generations of ______ who are more hard working and talented than you and I. Who do you think you are to steal their job, their patrons and their dreams?

So, no. You are not entitled to make a living doing what you love.

We start there because it makes us better humans. We ought to get paid for it, but even if we don’t, we ought to do it.

It’s possible.

Democracy touted as the best system of government these days.

Yet, some of these countries have corruptions, slow (but free) healthcare, and citizens often feeling unhappy about their governments.

But why? Citizens vote for people they want to run the country.

Late Singapore Prime Minister, Lee Kuan Yew, pointed out a few prerequisites for democracy to work.

1. An educated mass to understand the difference between a good plan and a good story.
2. A reasonably prosperous society and vote would be less likely to be bought.
3. Capable people running for office instead of voting for the better of two evils.
4. A non-corrupt voting system that people trust.
5. A non-violent society where the people are not manipulated by fear.

Elections can easily become an auction, where parties compete on immediate material benefits.

Since independence in 1965, Singapore has enforced many unpopular policies that wouldn’t win hearts nor votes. The 2 years mandatory military service, the highest paying ministers, banning chewing gums sale, caning, the death sentence and building of casinos. Singapore work despite being a democracy state.

Someone had foresight and cared enough to risk their reputation for the long-term good that might be unpopular.

The point is, unlike the solar system, political system is made up. It can be changed. 70 years ago, Singapore was a mud-filled fishing village.

If you care enough, you can change it.

One person screaming can disturb the entire cafe. One rumour can unsettle a whole country. A day of war can erase years of development.

The pessimists are right. It would all go to zero. AI, a crazy government, a mining operation.

Today, the cost of solar panels, our average life spans, and gay rights are once pipe dreams.

It is the people irrational enough to believe these situations as problems. Creative enough to see a different way forward. Work enough to make it real.

It takes work to imagine better. Thank you for believing.