Driving is tiring, but why?

Zoom is tiring, why?

We hardly move our bodies. And we are in the best climate.

When we fill our days with meetings and activities, sooner or later, after a string of meetings, we show up with half the energy.

We are there, but we are not there.

True listening requires energy. Synthesizing requires energy. Good decision-making requires energy.

More and more so, tools are created (AI) to help us with routine tasks and chores. Things that are valuable are becoming creative human work. Decisions, organising and caring.

I wonder if productivity needs a new name. Say, energy management?

Liberty, a funny word. The state of being free within society from law or rules.

Yet…

The quietness of your sleep can be ruined by a party too loud.

The late-night commute feels differently when you are anticipating a serial rapist around the corner.

Or, consider your hard-earned reputation to be ruined by deep fake or unfounded opinions.

We ask, why can’t we have more freedom?

When in fact, freedom comes with responsibility.

If you are willing to take on the weight of a well-cared-for community, that is the day you understand what freedom means.

When we treat our relationships like a recipe, it rarely works.

To bake a cake, we know what to do. We follow the recipe, cakes come out.

In close relationships, however, it’s a dance, with 2 rhythms. Yours and theirs.

The busy parent who believes in quality time, celebrates the birthday party, and attends the football tournament.

Yes, quality matters.

What trips us up is the belief that we just need to be there at the BIG moments. And we know when.

But your rhythm might not match their rhythm. The time when your child wants to share the truth about his experience at school or how the stars gave questions about living.

The moment arises, and we need to be there to catch it.

The tricky part is we don’t know when. But when it comes, those are the moments that count.

There is no way of knowing ahead, we just need to be there.

Quality matters and quantity matters too.

When we treat our relationship, like caring for our teeth, it might just work better.

Is it done?

That’s how we treat our task.

And it can seem like our life is made up of tasks leading to pay cheques, promotions, cars, houses. And stuff.

But it rarely works for our happiness and our relationships.

When we think about our favourite cafes, brands or the people we love, speed is probably not the reason why we love them.

It’s the other stuff.

It’s integrity, it’s energy, it’s generosity. Care, meaning or what they stand for.

The stuff we don’t see. The stuff that is hard to measure.

We wish people would just love us. We wish our bank account would just grow. We wish we could skip it all and get there now.

When we try to rush relationships and our life, we sometimes make it worse. Because we miss out on other stuffs.

It’s trite, but it’s never the destination, or how fast we got there. It’s how we feel while getting there, our task, our relationship and our life.

Are you rushing or are you enjoying?

The school you wanted

The movie you casted

The event with the cool folks

The job that pays and treats you well

The famous publisher

The award list

You could whine. You can wait.

Or you can create your own circle.

Today, we can make our own magic. To find two sticks and turn them into a game. To organize our own conversations, find our own connections… most of all, bring generosity and energy to circles that don’t have enough of either one.

The good news? You’ll always have a spot if you organised it.

And if you’re looking to throw your own, Nick’s book (or his article) is a great place to start.