No amount of money can buy back that moment of awe and inspiration. That same book, song, painting [fill in the blank] will never be the same again.
It changes you. For that very first time. It is the dish at that restaurant, tears rolling as you watched that film and arriving at that special city. You can’t un-see, what you’ve seen.
The magic is the connection between the art and the viewer, seeing it for the very first time.
That how the Mona Lisa ended up selling for $100 million.
The alternative is expert craftsmen in the village of Dafen, China painting replicas. Their paintings are priced by size. Day in, day out, doing what’ve done before, no emotional labour involved. You can’t fail.
If you are one of the lucky ones to be peddling in magic, the work is to lean in, do things that might not work, make a statement and connect the dots. And once you found the thing that resonates with the culture, show it to the world, and pen your style.
And perhaps after the glitz and the glamour, it’s time to get back to the work. To try and to fail. To try and try again. Until the next magic comes about. The work of an artist.
Most couples in a happy relationship have a secret. They date a lot, a lot more than their fingers and toes combined. Similarly, people who love their work, tried many jobs.
It’s super rare to find a happy old couple who marry their first love. Yet, they are ones who get on the covers of the magazines, the ones that we use to write movie scripts and also the ones we’re all talking about.
That is the challenges in today’s culture, we are surrounded by Survivorship Bias. The ones who hit the jackpot, the couples in perfect matrimony.
It’s no surprise that we are hurt. We believe and put all our trust in our first love, being the last. And when that is gone, we are left with scars and vow never to love again.
The thing is most dating advice are bad, not because they are inherently so, but because there are no glib answers. There are no answers that apply to everybody.
Perhaps dating is a process. It is a process of self-discovery, testing your boundaries, feeling for your emotions, connecting with another person, being open to be vulnerable, compromising for each other, and above all, knowing that you are capable to love and to be loved.
(As you go about learning this for yourself, it’s important that you need to be upfront and state your intention. There is a human being on the other side. Don’t break their hearts.)
Go ahead and junk date. You owe it to yourself and the ones you love.
(26/12/19 Update: None of my past dates is junk. Junk dating is merely a process of finding how what I want, and what works for me.)