We dislike being told how bad we are (especially when we didn’t ask for it). Worse, to correct us in the midst of our happy doing and demand that their way is better.
They might have a better way. But by interrupting our attention with non-solicited advice, goodwill is diminished, the relationship is stressed and a learning opportunity is squandered.
(The exception: if there is any life-threatening danger, then yes, step in and take over.)
The simple solution: “Would you like some feedback on that?”
An invitation to suggest a better way, gaining permission to be in sync and enrolment for an opportunity to teach.
The posture of asking permission is how we interact with each other. Extending our hand for a handshake, opening our arm for a hug and leaning in for a kiss. We are asking for permission.
Yes, we might be rejected. But (I argue) it’s perhaps better than losing the precious relationship and permission you’ve worked so hard to earn.
Permission before advice. Because no one wants to hear how right you are and how bad they suck.
