People did not meet your expectation → you get angry → you blame and discharge to them → people dislike you more → people act unwillingly (out of fear) → people do not meet your expectation (loop)
Solutions.
Own your feelings and your part to the outcome
Reveal your feelings and pause the conversation (I want to reveal that I’m feeling some anger because I tell myself the story… And I anger myself by believing the story. Can you give me some time to process my feelings so I can…? )
Process your anger and get to peace.
Anger is something that needs to be cut off or boundaries to be set.
Invite curiosity and understand the causes (Can you help me understand? I’m not attached about being right.)
Clarify commitment (who is to do what, by when).
Brainstorm ideas for a long-term solution.
Show appreciation and be closer to people (I want to thank you for revealing, being in curiosity, helping me find a long-term solution.)
Align commitment/ask for recommitment/change your expectation/set boundaries.
