When people go on a quest to define love, what they are looking for is how to stay in love. A sustained form of love that would last.
Our version of love did not match with reality. It did not fix all our problems. It did not fulfill us permanently.
The love, that was once, wasn’t there anymore. That our love for our children did not last till the end of the night. That the perfect partner became boring.
Perhaps it is the Disney movies, the love songs, or the version of love we observe from our parents.
If we look at love carefully, we can learn the ingredients.
- Do you love yourself? Can you enjoy your company in solitude? Can you care for yourself, your needs? And what you need to feel energise and able to offer emotional labour?
- Do you know how to give love? Do you know how to make others feel understood, seen? Can you choose who you want to offer emotional labour?
This comes in self-awareness, effective communication, deep listening, having the time, energy, and resources to provide.
- Do you possess the skill of partner well? Are you able to state your annoyance without negative residue? Are you able to be in relationship without repeated issues?