My channel was removed without warning. Despite my appeal, the only response I received stated that my videos violated community rules, without any specific details.

Overnight, all my videos were gone.

After hitting several dead ends, I accepted my fate and started a new channel to upload videos that I hadn’t deleted.

A month later, that channel was also removed. Once again, I received the same email, without any clarification on which video(s) had caused the issue.

Fortunately, a friend knew someone who worked at YouTube. Thanks to them, both channels were recovered.

Youtube has its challenges of moderating content. But I don’t think driving license get revoked the first time we speed though a red light. Account deletion is not a guardrail.

P.S. Back up your videos.

As I embarked on my journey of recovery from grief, I gave myself ample space to relax and recover.

My symptoms – low energy, low desire and low appetite.

As the months went by, I became confused. Am I healing or procrastinating or lazy?

I wondered whether lying in bed, was becoming a problem and not a solution.

So, I tricked myself into getting out of the house to a co-working space for a week.

I immediately feel better.

Was healing done?

I feel terrible that I didn’t feel grateful or show gratitude when friends generously offered their advice, time, and presence.

I have a gratitude journal, I wrote it, yet gratitude didn’t come.

What I have learned, is that during burnout or grief, gratitude is not available because the emotional sensing tool is not working.

But it is okay to express appreciation, without feeling grateful.

There’s no need to blame myself.

Thank you for the reminder, Jeane.

The room bright

Penning words in my journal

Figuring my thoughts

Desire

The subconscious

Where would it lead me? I don’t know

I do it in hopes that I can thrive

I hope

It’s been a while since I last posted.

I hope you all been well.

In times of uncertainty, it is possible to envision and strive for a different situation.

This, in fact, is how everything around us is created.

As we encounter new challenges, we learn, brainstorm, make adjustments, and reach a new milestone. It is an energizing, upward cycle.

But when, if we don’t hit those milestones, this energy can run out. It is not something that can be easily restored through exercise, diet and sleep.

At such times, it may be necessary to take a retreat or an extended vacation.

Hope requires energy.