There is a certain kind of truth that is hard to come by.

The ones we rather not tell our friends. The ones that we don’t often get.

The ones we think about on the therapist’s chair “Why are we so unable to think of ourselves as damaged and crazy? Self-righteousness.”

Of course, there are people who have told us before.

There are our friends. But they don’t want to risk an unpleasant evening triggering us. And then run the risk of getting back an unequal amount of harsh truth.

There are our parents. They are very kind and maybe also blinded by their own affection for us.

So it leaves another category, our exes. You could expect that they have probably told us. But after all, there is a reason why they are our exes.

So we can go through life, with an average person who met us for 20 minutes could end up with deeper insights into many of our flaws.

How about a pact?

A pact for our friend to tell us the truth. Where part of the friendship is actually to go deeper, to hold each other’s secrets, to be honest with each other. A pact where self-disclosures will not be used against us.

“Hey JAKE, I’ve been thinking about a way to increase my self-awareness. How about a pact? You to tell me inconvenient truths. And I trust that it is for my best interest in mind”.

Poverty, debt, global warming, over-productivity, anxiety and burnout.

It pushes us and pushes us, to work not caring about our happiness.

Conglomerates who own many brands, create monopolies and increase prices.

Robbers in the system who take more than what they give.

It sucks.

And before capitalism? It was kings, and empire and slaves. If you’re born into the whole family, you’re stuck. I’m not sure if we want that either.

On the other end, in the same capitalist system.

Patagonia gave $3 billions for the climate with the system of capitalism.

People built libraries, museums, and Wikipedia.

Capitalism gave us more choices. To be born as we are, and through a series of choices create our life. We benefit from the positive choice and learn from negative consequences.

Capitalism gave us (almost) equal opportunity, but not equal outcomes.

Almost equal opportunity because we are humans. And humans have bias.

Unequal outcomes because people make different choices. And different choices create different outcomes.

We have choices to change our jobs, to support local with spending habits. And make things better.

There are people who work hard, and give back.

And many others who improve on capitalism, install guardrails and policies to make the system better.

As GK Chesterton says, “Capitalism is the worst form of economic arrangement, except for all the other ones that we’ve tried.”

Instead of blaming, I wonder what’s a better system? And more importantly, how will you choose to spend that choice today?

What do you do when…

Someone quote what you say without the context?

Tells the community you did something that you didn’t?

Or use AI to fake a video of you?

Then, the video was re-shared 500 times?

Is this freedom of speech?

Do you sit and do nothing?

In conversation, assumptions occur.

Where do you like to swim? (Assumed they swim)

When are you going to have kids? (Assumed they want and can have kids)

Have you tried A or B? (Assumed they want your advice)

And every once in a while, when we unintentionally offend someone, and the conversation feels stunted.

What happens next?

One thing we could do is to ignore and talk forward. Another is to try and name it.

“Hey. I noticed something is off here. I want to check. Is there anything that I said or assumed that may have unintentionally upset you?”

I saved so much money, buying, instead of renting a car.

So far, I’ve bought 4 cars, Honda Accord (US$1,300), Ford Econoline (US$1,500), Honda Civic (£900) and Toyota Siena (S$3,000). Renting a car would cost US$1,500 a month.

Mostly, I re-sold the cars for the same price or a profit.

That said, it takes about 2 full days, to research and buy the car. If travel is longer than a month, I always choose to buy.

Here’s how.

  1. Go to listing sites, Craigslist (US) or GumTree (UK).
  2. Search for Honda and Toyota. Japanese cars can easily run up to 300K+ miles and parts are also easily available.
  3. Rank by price, use filters for listing under $5,000.
  4. Open up all listening in new tabs.
  5. Look out for listing prices, mileage and appearance. Ignore cars that are not working. Get a sense of the market price and what is a good deal.
  6. Narrow down to 20 listings. Message or call them. “Hi, I’m interested in your car. Is it still available? Negotiable? I’d love to check it out”.
  7. Once they respond, ask “What’s your best price?” Then reply, “I’m looking at different cars. I’ll get back. I’m waiting for other’s response.”
  8. Look for a reputable car mechanic on Google Maps. Call ahead to arrange for a full-service check ($50 – $100). Smaller shops can usually check it, on the same day.
  9. Narrow it down to 3 cars and arrange to meet. “Can we meet at ADDRESS, the mechanic will do a car check. Is that okay?” If anything smells fishy, walk away.
  10. After the check, if anything needs repair, let the seller know and negotiate for a better price.
  11. If you feel good, complete the relevant paperwork. For the US, it’s the Bill of Sales.
  12. Make sure the photo ID name matches the car ownership document. Take a photo of their ID, face and car ownership papers (Car Titles).
  13. Get the cheapest online insurance. Because the car is cheap, it’s faster to pay for your own fixes/repairs, than dealing with insurance claims.
  14. Pay up. Drive off now!
  15. Change the car ownership to your name at the local vehicle licensing office. If you don’t have a friend in town, use a mail forwarding service.
  16. Once you get the new license plate, put it up. You’re all set.

AAA membership ($70) for extra security when the car breaks down on the road.

To adventures and beyond.

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