There are many reasons why we do things. Our jobs, our exercises and even our meals. And within each, there are layers upon layers of reasons.
Perhaps the job was about money, but it might also be for friendships or a place to feel useful.
Perhaps cooking our meal was about health and deliciousness, but it might actually be a semi-distracted environment for your child to reveal the truth about their day.
As we get stuck, getting caught in a cycle, it could be a good time to start a dialogue with ourselves. Why do we do the things we do?
And as we get to the core of it, we start to uncover these motivations. It could be about guilt, shame and fear. It could be about perks, status and jealousy. It could be about fun, learning and joy.
It worth noting here that any piece of wisdom that anyone gives, about what you need or what you want, it’s going to sound like nonsense to you. I think fundamentally we just have to find it for ourself, so the important part is not the answer, it’s the question.
We just have to sit there and dig with the question. Unpacking the layer of reasons and finding the motivations behind each one of them. Differentiating between necessity and fuel, fear and longing.
Perhaps then, we can piece it back together, rearrange it with our priorities. But this time, consciously.
Maybe just maybe, when we can find enough, we are able to get unstuck and do the next thing, and the next thing. Slowly, we can shift from something we ‘have to’ do, to something we ‘get to’ do.
Like all important things, it starts with a pen and paper, staring into mid-space and asking why.
(Thanks Chiara Cokieng for teasing out this article.)
