It’s perhaps ineffective, or even stupid, to call someone a dishonest retard.
After that, people just want is to punch you in the face (out of defence.)
I don’t think you want to insult intentionally. We are simply defending our view of the world. We are defending what is true and right for us. We are in reaction.
So we start with truth. Can we separate our truth and our preferences from the TRUTH? Do we need to impose and demand that people act in our way, the right way, the best way? Can we hold our truth lightly?
After all that sorting, then you ask, What’s the most loving way to tell the truth?
It might sound like this.
“Sweetheart, I’m happy to give you my opinion. I just want to let you know that my opinion isn’t always right, and I’m not really attached in being right either. If you like, I’m happy to share my opinion with you and you can do what you want with it.
Here’s my opinion, red is not the best colour on you. I don’t think that particular belt at the waist accentuates your figure in the best way. But just as if you ask me, do I like Brussels sprouts or not? I don’t particularly like it, not really. I don’t particularly like this dress either. It’s not a moral thing. It’s just my preference. Look at me, I’m not any better at fashion either.”
Instead of, “I told you before. Stuff around your waist isn’t good for you” or “Red is the worst colour. Are you dumb?”
If we care more about being close than being right, perhaps it’s time to re-think our strategy.
