I was stuck in the dark for months. Fatigue, depressed with no agency.
The problem is then, I have too much free time and a restless mind.
I wanted to find work that excited me, but nothing sparked my curiosity. I spent hours in bed wondering if I should rest more or get out. I wanted to enjoy my free time but I didn’t.
I swap thoughts like what if I’m not going get better, to I’m okay right now. Many people are relaxing like me, I don’t need to produce to enjoy my day.
It took away my guilt, but I still don’t know what to do with my free time.
This is till The Enjoyment Experiment, and something shifted.
The basic setup is to do what feels good, and stop doing what feels bad. For 5 days, enjoyment is the only metric.
It eliminated second-guessing, and conserved my mental energy. It unlocks more curiosity, generosity, and enjoyment of life.
It gave me permission to nap as long as I wanted and remove the guilt. As soon as the thought came up, it was gone.
It’s not an instant fix. I was tired, and I didn’t feel like doing anything. So removing the self-blame, giving myself more time to rest, hence more energy for the times I’m awake. Then when I woke up, instead of a frantic mess, I asked what would be most enjoyable to do right now?
As I looked for and felt enjoyment, I found more enjoyment. I stopped comparing myself to what I should do instead.
At first, it was scary to allow myself to rest as much as I wanted. But I figured it was a 5 day experiment so the downside was going to be limited. I extended the experiment.
I used to make decisions on energy and engagement. Now, I believe that enjoyment might be an even better metric. Or at least a worthwhile experiment.
If you have enough resources, and life feels like an uphill climb, why not do the opposite for 5 days?
It may not be purposeful or productive. A life enjoyed is a meaningful life too.
P.s. Hat tip to Joe Hudson and the Art of Accomplishment course
