Words are important. It is how we see the world, solve problems and have fun along the way.

The other day I met someone new. We both brought great energy and intention to connect well with each other.

As the conversation went, I find myself being corrected and learning heaps. A more accurate word, another angle to the situation, and interesting problems to tackle (finding different business structures to mitigate the downside of capitalism).

After one too many times of being corrected, I found myself being derailed to a topics that I don’t think were conducive to me or the conversation. I have no idea how I got there.

That conversation stayed with me for days. I wondered if I could’ve done anything different for a better conversation? Could I have stayed more present? Should I have listened to the subtext more? Could I have asked what did he really want to share with me? Am I being too much of a smarty pants?

And, I wonder if he is thinking the same?

Kids are flexible. They twist, they cry and they believe in everything (yes, Santa and demon).

When we get older, we become inflexible. This is partly due to biology, partly a defence against modernity, and partly because we don’t want to look like a crazy person screaming our every thought.

As we begin long-range planning for things, we push down unproductive emotions, pick up formulas and say no to more things. We believe that this is just who we are. We adopt an identity.

Is it possible for you to be a warrior, a healer, a dad, a scientist, a boss and a lover?

The default path is inflexibility. It is hard to change and we need to work at it.

But would you agree that it’s better than being a deadpan inflexible brittle human being?

Gym and therapy anyone?

I was scrolling the other day when saw that my telco came up with a ridiculous promotion.

For just $18 a month, you get 400GB of data, 12GB of roaming data, unlimited call time, and more. This is 10 times more data than I’ll ever use, and cheaper!

How is this possible? 10 years ago, I was paying $20 for 3GB of slow data.

I compared price with other countries.

• Australia — $58 ($70AUD)/mth for 50GB
• New Zealand — $30 ($40NZD)/mth for 5GB

So how did Singapore become so cheap?

My first thought was that Singapore is small, lower infrastructure cost.

But how about Hong Kong?

$14 ($88HKD) per month for 32GB, still much higher than Singapore.

It turns out the answer lies in strategy.

Instead of leaving it to capitalism, focusing on returns, Singapore treat data as a necessity (like water and healthcare) and made it a public good, with a twist.

The telcos remain private companies. However, they “rent” internet from a single company, NetLink Trust.

This government-linked company built and maintains all the internet infrastructure. Prices and quality are standardised and heavily regulated.

This approach eliminates duplicated infrastructure, speeds up deployment, and profits become secondary to the public good.

Meanwhile, private companies does customer-facing parts, driving innovation and reducing costs. Ultimately, benefiting the consumer.

Like most things, it started out expensive. Slowly, benefits compounds. Then, overnight, the cheapest and fastest internet in the world.

Learn the game, pick a strategy, change your habits.

Change your life.

Steve Schlafman walked away from his venture fund and returned millions to 50 of his investors. He then went on to coin the idea of a “decelerator” that helped countless ambitious founders find a better way to decide what’s next.

Chris Guillebeau ran a remarkable conference that changed many lives, including mine. And inspired a whole new category of conference. After 10 years, he ended it. And went on to write more books and, most recently, create a special kind of gathering.

Seth Godin, who coined the idea of permission marketing, could have built Mailchimp (which was acquired for $12 billion), but he didn’t.

My mum could’ve made more money, she didn’t and retired at 40.

Each of them walked away from money, fame, and impact. They let go of the perfect to dance with the unknown, to create space for the impossible.

They say, the path appears when we start walking. But it is only when we dare to step away from the familiar can something emerge.

These days, when I come across someone that is calm, prolific, and productive, I wonder, what did they give up?

And I ask myself, what do I need to give up today to live that life?

Jim Dethmer taught me the power of owning mistakes and gave me the words that I’ve used ever since.

“Before we begin, I said I was going to ____. But I did not ____. I want to take full responsibility for it and check if there’s anything, within my ability, I can do to clean it up with you”.

Danny Meyer further adds a helpful framework.

• Aware you made it
• Acknowledge it
• Apologize for it
• Act to fix it
• Apply additional generosity

Mistake can cripple or a renewable resource for learning.

A leader, politician, restaurant, friend or father.

That’s the difference between good and remarkable, if you choose.

What do these have in common?

These experiences can be felt. They can’t be fully captured in words.

The joy of language is that it can describe and shared.

But make no mistakes, in doing so, we cut it off from its possibilities and fullness.

If you think 10 days of silence can be gotten through words, you’re missing out.

P.s. can a spoon also be a bottle opener?

Photo taken in Singapore 2015

Of course, it’s not true.

It’s actually 4,160 weeks and we might not leave to 80.

If you’re 30 years old today, that’s roughly 3,000 weeks left. 40 years old, 2,000 weeks.

The universe has been around 80 billions years, we are like a firefly blinking once in a night.

This is not forever.

Thank you for the remainder, Oliver.

Photo taken in Cholula Mexico, 2013

Looks a lot like helping.

Heck, maybe you are really helping someone.

You sacrifice your time and your money to dig someone out of a ditch. Your friends and people around you say you’re a good person.

But sometimes, something inside makes you feel that you don’t really want, but you do it anyway. You tell yourself, you’re a good person. It’s been a long day and you did good. Another day tomorrow.

Then one day, you are a little cranky and over it. But you can’t stand to see other person suffer.

Today is the day, you really can’t help. You’re spent and tied up. You can’t be the hero.

Today, are you still a good person or are you addicted to helping?

Photo taken in San Miguel Mexico 2013