Viktor Frankl wrote the seminal book about living. People who have a purpose, a meaning to live, feel more positive.

But guess who doesn’t have a purpose? Children.

And from what I observe, when their basic needs are met, they are pretty happy.

And who are those searching for purpose? People who are lost, in deep pain.

I don’t see many people who are, in community, in good health, in good jobs, looking hard for purpose.

Purpose is a hack, purpose is a shortcut.

Purpose can also cause burnout and anxiety (look at social workers).

The good news is, purpose is not required. It’s good to have.

Happiness is a skill. It is awareness, acceptance, healing and self-care.

Purpose, goal and meaning. They are optional, freakout too.

Funny how we say, human resource.

A resource, something that we try to acquire and hoard, as much as we can.

An industrialist wanting to maximise profit, create traps and incentive to retain his best employee. Save him the effort of looking for new people to hire.

Meanwhile, the Aesop’s, Patagonia’s, and Noma’s of the world, where people choose to be at work, constantly outperform any industry standard.

Zappos, an online shoe store, paid their employee $2,000 to quit. They were sold to Amazon for $1.2 billion.

If we ask ourselves, would you give your best effort, when we are forced to stay at a place we don’t want to?

Maybe what if, instead of treating humans as resources, we treat humans as humans?

Humans with families, goals and dreams.

Maybe just maybe, they will find out that, this is the organisation they want to stay for the long haul.

(Thanks Ryan, Liza, Mirtra, RJ, Olivia and Patty for the inspiration)

Networking has a bad reputation. It starts when we enter our work life. We need things, so we form relationships hoping to get something in the future.

Connecting, on the other hand, was never taught. To see someone for who they are, where they’ve been and where they are going. To read the emotional weather. To look beyond someone’s value for you.

When we want to connect, we avoid LinkedIn and talking about work. We talk about other stuff. Relationship, feelings and weekend adventures.

But, work is an important pillar of our life. To know what someone is gifted at, helping them succeed at it.

Of course, it’s an art and skill. To navigate connection, while talking about work. It starts with intention and is layered with curious questions, gentle requests and a generosity to contribute.

The best kind of networking is connecting. And the worst kind of connecting, is networking.

You’ll make mistakes and people will misunderstand you. That’s part of it.

I hope you don’t wait around for too long.

The world is filled with lonely people waiting for you to make the first move.

Driving is tiring, but why?

Zoom is tiring, why?

We hardly move our bodies. And we are in the best climate.

When we fill our days with meetings and activities, sooner or later, after a string of meetings, we show up with half the energy.

We are there, but we are not there.

True listening requires energy. Synthesizing requires energy. Good decision-making requires energy.

More and more so, tools are created (AI) to help us with routine tasks and chores. Things that are valuable are becoming creative human work. Decisions, organising and caring.

I wonder if productivity needs a new name. Say, energy management?

Liberty, a funny word. The state of being free within society from law or rules.

Yet…

The quietness of your sleep can be ruined by a party too loud.

The late-night commute feels differently when you are anticipating a serial rapist around the corner.

Or, consider your hard-earned reputation to be ruined by deep fake or unfounded opinions.

We ask, why can’t we have more freedom?

When in fact, freedom comes with responsibility.

If you are willing to take on the weight of a well-cared-for community, that is the day you understand what freedom means.

When we treat our relationships like a recipe, it rarely works.

To bake a cake, we know what to do. We follow the recipe, cakes come out.

In close relationships, however, it’s a dance, with 2 rhythms. Yours and theirs.

The busy parent who believes in quality time, celebrates the birthday party, and attends the football tournament.

Yes, quality matters.

What trips us up is the belief that we just need to be there at the BIG moments. And we know when.

But your rhythm might not match their rhythm. The time when your child wants to share the truth about his experience at school or how the stars gave questions about living.

The moment arises, and we need to be there to catch it.

The tricky part is we don’t know when. But when it comes, those are the moments that count.

There is no way of knowing ahead, we just need to be there.

Quality matters and quantity matters too.

When we treat our relationship, like caring for our teeth, it might just work better.

Is it done?

That’s how we treat our task.

And it can seem like our life is made up of tasks leading to pay cheques, promotions, cars, houses. And stuff.

But it rarely works for our happiness and our relationships.

When we think about our favourite cafes, brands or the people we love, speed is probably not the reason why we love them.

It’s the other stuff.

It’s integrity, it’s energy, it’s generosity. Care, meaning or what they stand for.

The stuff we don’t see. The stuff that is hard to measure.

We wish people would just love us. We wish our bank account would just grow. We wish we could skip it all and get there now.

When we try to rush relationships and our life, we sometimes make it worse. Because we miss out on other stuffs.

It’s trite, but it’s never the destination, or how fast we got there. It’s how we feel while getting there, our task, our relationship and our life.

Are you rushing or are you enjoying?

The school you wanted

The movie you casted

The event with the cool folks

The job that pays and treats you well

The famous publisher

The award list

You could whine. You can wait.

Or you can create your own circle.

Today, we can make our own magic. To find two sticks and turn them into a game. To organize our own conversations, find our own connections… most of all, bring generosity and energy to circles that don’t have enough of either one.

The good news? You’ll always have a spot if you organised it.

And if you’re looking to throw your own, Nick’s book (or his article) is a great place to start.