A stranger changed my life. And we have never met in person. She cared for me into caring, and loved me into loving. She is more than my coach, she is a friend, a council, a thought partner and a refuge.
And I hope one day, I will be able to see her in person.
Years ago, I was successful. I had a business that paid me well, working remotely for 2h a day, and traveling around California in a camper that I built. I had everything but I wasn’t happy. Something was missing.
Christina changed that for me. Little did I know, this person could help figure it out and more. I want to share the possibility of a person like her. And hope you will be able to find a Christina for yourself. (Thank you, Nina and Carly).
She asked questions that pierced to the heart of the matter. Stayed with me in silence as I found words to speak my truth.
She listened to my messiness, without judgment. Always giving an extra beat, waiting for more. Pulled out the essence, told it back to me, then pointed out true things I never knew about myself.
I couldn’t afford her rates and asked for an assessment. A fixed fee. It’s not something she does, but she did. At the end of that, she asked if I had anyone that could continue the work. I didn’t. Not blinking, she offered to waive the assessment and use it on our first month. I cried. The second month, she took a huge pay cut to continue our journey.
I told her I was touched by her kindness and that I teared up after our conversation. She rejoiced with me.
When I didn’t believe in myself, she stayed with me in that liminal space. Holding a torch. Believing in me, until I believed.
I sought her advice on her books, courses, articles, journal prompts to help me get to my goals. She didn’t ask the coaching-esque question “What do you feel is best?” She answered my questions, gave her recommendations and her analysis. And if I chose something else, she never got offended one bit. She saved me from going in circles, for months or years.
She set my pace, and saved me from doing too much and getting nowhere.
When I told her about my insensitivity to the deaths of the people in 911, she challenged me. Now, I got to know emotions about myself that I never knew existed.
When I asked her about other coaches and courses that I was considering, she never got offended. Opposite, she celebrated and helped me find the right coach and help I needed.
She comes from a place of plenty, and was not dear about her identity nor our paid relationship.
I told her about my strained relationship with my parents. She made me see that they cared about me too. And that my parents, like me, were doing the best that we could.
When she was going through a life-threatening treatment, I told her that I might be around her area soon and how I “love to see you, if you’re still alive.” (I’m sorry) “Did you say it as a joke?” she asked. She didn’t leave the conversation. She assumed my highest intent and gave space for me. I learned a lesson about forgiveness and grace. That call went on to be one of the best conversations of that year.
We talked about money, family, sex, dating, death, contracts, mentors, friendship, and values. I have never met a person who could talk with me at that depth, and that range, and such grace.
She did not need to do all this, but she did. She went out of her way and she made magic for me. The magic in humanity. While the rest of the world operates on even Steven, she doesn’t. And because of her, I don’t anymore.
The postures of generosity always comes back in magical ways. I believe now.
Christina is my coach. She is my friend, my teacher, my thought partner, my council, my refuge.
I hope one day I will be able to see her in person. And I hope you’ll find a person like Christina, for yourself. It’s possible.
Thank you, Christina.
