When we reach a huge goal, we celebrate and pocket the trophy. The goal becomes a relic.

Onward, to the next level. Until it isn’t so clear anymore.

When we went to the moon, won the Olympics, or sold our company.

The next day, the big high comes with a big low. The lack of direction from the goal.

As we chase the pleasure, we reward ourselves with holidays, new toys and margaritas. Yet, the level of pleasure falls short. The hedonic treadmill sets in and the problem begins.

Adding to confusion and disability to get the same intensity of pleasure, the empty space brings up issues that we’ve been suppressing, as we chase the big goal.

Is it to ride the discomfort that comes from the lack of goals and reset? To re-think the purpose of life? To design a life and an identity you’re proud of? To heal our traumas? Solve another big problem?

The paradox of choice is real.

I imagine being addicted to easy short-term dopamine, losing motivation, and getting stuck to the couch is a downward spiral. The pleasure from sugar, alcohol, video games, social media drugs, screens, books, podcasts, TED talks and porn.

An exploration of the issues at play. No real answers.

[Thank you Alvin for turning me on to Andrew Huberman on Dopamine.]

Years ago, I wrote to Seth Godin.

He wrote back:

“it’s tragic
and I wish I knew a way forward, but I don’t
so much pain in the world”

It’s true, for those who care, sometimes there really isn’t a way forward.

It’s discomforting, painful and pure suck.

And if we are not careful, compounding social media, you will beat you down to the knees. The day, gone.

Day after day, it repeats, and a downward cycle in motion. Your agency, gone.

An alternative is a practice. It’s not the insulation from bad news. A practice that prioritise contribution, a win for the day.

Help one person. Write one article. Send a “thank you” note.

It’s not perfect but it’s better than wasting the day.

There are times in life when activities that were exciting, are now a repeated task on the to-do list.

I don’t mean dental, exercising, or housework. Not all activities are joyful. I mean those which are supposed to be joyful.

One of the insights from a recent retreat, is that my desire to be optimal (and helpful) has made me forget about joy.

I don’t know my favourite food, music and what’s fun.

I started publishing weekly because of Seth Godin. It was joyful to share. But now, I publish to keep up with the momentum.

Maybe Seth finds joy in teaching and writing. Perhaps, not for me right now.

The reason for writing was for me to learn, to share, and most importantly, to feel joyful.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not unbearable. It’s simply not joyful now.

Perhaps, like Seth, who announces this book will be the “last book”, then another one comes along. He knows that the next book will be an act of contribution and joy, not because he needs to write another book.

So, this blog and newsletter will be on pause. I’m going on a sabbatical.

And if you see a new article here, know that it’ll be an act of joy.

That irritating, pesky voice is not you.

To observe something, it requires distance. A vantage point.

An astronaut observes the earth only when she away from it.

Yes, you can see your eyes with a mirror. Don’t get tricked. That’s a reflection of the image of your eye. It’s not your eyes.

Recognising that those thoughts are not you. They are conditioned by your upbringing, society and experiences.

That’s the beginning of the journey of better thoughts.