Of course, if you invested in real estate, Amazon or the Turnips way back then, you’ll be making bank.
The Crypto market is at an all-time low now, as of Jun 22. Would you invest?
Well, what about the risk, capital and insight required.
When we factor all that in, I’m not sure if it’s really a shortcut.
When we reach a huge goal, we celebrate and pocket the trophy. The goal becomes a relic.
Onward, to the next level. Until it isn’t so clear anymore.
When we went to the moon, won the Olympics, or sold our company.
The next day, the big high comes with a big low. The lack of direction from the goal.
As we chase the pleasure, we reward ourselves with holidays, new toys and margaritas. Yet, the level of pleasure falls short. The hedonic treadmill sets in and the problem begins.
Adding to confusion and disability to get the same intensity of pleasure, the empty space brings up issues that we’ve been suppressing, as we chase the big goal.
Is it to ride the discomfort that comes from the lack of goals and reset? To re-think the purpose of life? To design a life and an identity you’re proud of? To heal our traumas? Solve another big problem?
The paradox of choice is real.
I imagine being addicted to easy short-term dopamine, losing motivation, and getting stuck to the couch is a downward spiral. The pleasure from sugar, alcohol, video games, social media drugs, screens, books, podcasts, TED talks and porn.
An exploration of the issues at play. No real answers.
[Thank you Alvin for turning me on to Andrew Huberman on Dopamine.]
“I always thought burnout happened when you work too much. Now I get it. It’s investing emotionally and then not getting a return on that investment.” — @spamaps
"If you're expecting a reward and you don't get it, dopamine levels fall steeply." (via Psychology Today)
My burnout was not from physical tiredness. It’s caring and investing and hoping for things and not getting that. Over and over again.
I slept a lot. I stopped writing. I stop making the podcast. I stop learning. And it didn’t help one bit.
I went through many diagnoses. I thought it was grief. I thought it was languishing. I thought I’m working on the wrong project.
“Burnout” isn’t some make-yourself-feel-better-because-you’re-unmotivated sort of term, meant to give you comfort when you’re stuck in a rut or feeling down, stressed and unmotivated for weeks on end." @teaNreflection
I have tried living alone, psychedelic retreat and alternative therapy (focusing). My obsessive nature compounded the number of possible diagnoses and solutions. Adding to this, I didn’t have the vocabulary to name my symptoms. I am functional on the outside and easily irritated.
My sense of self, my preference and my opinion are gone. I’m like a dead log floating downstream. I feel disengaged with everything. The things that brought me joy, don’t anymore. Food, music, podcast and learning.
I rest well. And since I don’t have a sleeping problem, I sleep a lot. 12 hours a day, lazing around, naps. I keep work to a minimum. I wake up for small meals. I keep up a walking and yoga routine. I meet my parents and friends. The rest of the time, I slept.
I really wish I can get back to my usual vibrant self. But I can’t. I don’t know why and how. Not knowing if and how to get better is the scariest part. I imagine it’s the same for depression, grief or other chronic illness.
For the first time in my life, I don’t know how to dig myself out of the hole. And I look perfectly fine and privileged on the outside. Traveling, running a successful lifestyle business.
I hope writing out this experience will give an expanded perspective of burnout and how you could help yourself too.
Years ago, I wrote to Seth Godin.
He wrote back:
“it’s tragic
and I wish I knew a way forward, but I don’t
so much pain in the world”
It’s true, for those who care, sometimes there really isn’t a way forward.
It’s discomforting, painful and pure suck.
And if we are not careful, compounding social media, you will beat you down to the knees. The day, gone.
Day after day, it repeats, and a downward cycle in motion. Your agency, gone.
An alternative is a practice. It’s not the insulation from bad news. A practice that prioritise contribution, a win for the day.
Help one person. Write one article. Send a “thank you” note.
It’s not perfect but it’s better than wasting the day.
There are times in life when activities that were exciting, are now a repeated task on the to-do list.
I don’t mean dental, exercising, or housework. Not all activities are joyful. I mean those which are supposed to be joyful.
One of the insights from a recent retreat, is that my desire to be optimal (and helpful) has made me forget about joy.
I don’t know my favourite food, music and what’s fun.
I started publishing weekly because of Seth Godin. It was joyful to share. But now, I publish to keep up with the momentum.
Maybe Seth finds joy in teaching and writing. Perhaps, not for me right now.
The reason for writing was for me to learn, to share, and most importantly, to feel joyful.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not unbearable. It’s simply not joyful now.
Perhaps, like Seth, who announces this book will be the “last book”, then another one comes along. He knows that the next book will be an act of contribution and joy, not because he needs to write another book.
So, this blog and newsletter will be on pause. I’m going on a sabbatical.
And if you see a new article here, know that it’ll be an act of joy.
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