As I hit the big thirty, I took some time to look back. See how I have changed, learn, the people who helped me. Taking that perspective, and see the possibilities that lie ahead. Then, lean into it.
Personal Evolution
How are you different?
- I’m an entrepreneur, podcaster and writer
- I see work-life as a series of projects
- I am more interested in alignment instead of manipulation
- I’m in tune with my physical wellbeing
- I’m more introspective
- I’m better with words and grammar
- I’m giving more compliments
- I’m less interested in owning things than experiencing its beauty
- I eat lesser meals
Highlights
What were the notable wins, milestones, and experiences?
- Hit my saving goals of 50K
- Hit weight goal of 71kg
- Fell in love in Chiang Mai
- Wrote an article every week
- Wrote a newsletter every bi-weekly
- Improved relationship with my parents
- Started a weekly book reading with my parents
- Experimented with moving out for 4 months
- Wrist injury is under control
- Relaunched the blog
- Celebrated my birthday with friends and parents
- Began intermittent fasting and got comfortable with the 24 hour fast
- Hired a coach and learned about my emotions
Lessons
What were your key learnings?
- Good relationships are slow and compounding
- Habits changes are hard, focus on one at a time
- Family relationship takes a lot of foundational work. Be prepared to put in one year of work before seeing results
- Relationship commitment is a trade-off between desire and intimacy
- A pause button is useful to prevent argument outbreak
- 5 language of love can be applied for family and work
- If you assume someone else’s Love Language is similar to you (without experimenting), you’re probably wrong
- Writing is thinking out loud, which leads to learning. Publishing is the forcing function
- Emotions are the basic units of life
- In order to optimise life, I need to understand my emotion and how each task leads to different emotions
- It’s okay to feel bored if not doing anything
- Doing an (art) project is both a selfish and generous act. It’s selfish because you have the opportunity to engage, learn and dance with possibilities. It’s generous because the result is a gift that might affect others
- Happiness is peace in motion
- I’m living on borrowed time, no one owns me anything
- Working backwards is the only short cut
- Ask (to understand and earn trust) before sharing
Expressions of Gratitude
Who helped along the way?
- Dad for being there at every moment when I needed support
- Mum for caring about my diet and her courage to try different things and improve our relationship
- Jake Chiam for being my partner in crime in gadgetry and Faturday
- JR Hinds for being a sounding board and supporting my health journey
- Christina Monson for holding up a mirror and believing in the possibilities for me
- Ilone Grinberg for providing refuge outside my home
- Alice Zong for putting care in creating a container for my creative endeavours
- Ng Yi Qing for inspiring me to be a student of life, bringing the zest to learning
- Natalie Tan for being a friend and design collaborator
- Nancy Xu for supporting me through my transition
- Yasmeen Kassim for being my emotional learning partner as I own up to my emotions
- Glo Yong Wei for guiding my movement journey
- Marilyn Wo for being generous with her contacts and supporting my website relaunch
- Michelle Alexis for being a delight to work with and trusting my creative judgement
- Elmey Lilaw for being a resilient support when things are falling apart
- Stella Mandehou for being a friend
- Vignesh Vasuthevan for being my eyes keeping my writing understandable to everyone else
- Coco Liu for giving time and holding me accountable to be better
- My coaching partner for allowing me the privilege to serve and guide you
- Seth Godin for holding the bar for what an amazing human being could be
Intentions
How do you want to show up next year?
- Understand my emotion and use that to make decision
- Find comfort in saying no
- Serve people with their emotion in mind
- Deepen my skill to listen
- Create a practice for creative projects
[Thank you Steve Schalfman for inspiring this post]
