The #1 Dating Expert in South East Asia, Violet Lim

Violet Lim is the co-founder and CEO of Lunch Actually, the largest dating company in South East Asia, which started humbly in Singapore. Since 2004, Lunch Actually has acquired 5 companies and now have offices in Kuala Lumpur, Penang, Hong Kong, Jakarta and Bangkok. She is also the CEO of esync, an online-to-offline dating platform and LunchClick, a dating app that prides itself on disallowing the messaging function.

Violet is also the president of Matchmaking Institute in Singapore and President of Entrepreneurs’ Organization (EO) Singapore. She is also the first Asian to be certified by the Matchmaking Institute, United States (New York).

When Singapore was looking to solve the falling birth rates’ issue, she is one of the “go-to” person to discuss the topic.

For busy professionals who are looking for that special someone, Violet and her team at Lunch Actually will help you. The first consultation is complimentary – contact them here.

In this conversation, we spoke about

  • How to increase the odds of successful dates
  • How Violet kickstarted Lunch Actually
  • Violet’s advice on when to commit to a marriage
  • and much more!


If you’ve only got 3 minutes, here’s a short video on (Your Political Correct Answer are Doing More Harm than Good)



Click “continue reading” for the link and show notes…

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QUESTION(S) OF THE DAY: What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.

Show Notes

Why is Violet Lim always wearing purple? [0:00:47]
How did Violet Lim meet Jamie? [0:03:19]
What was the vision of Lunch Actually when it first started? [0:09:13]
Why did Violet decide to change her degree of study midway? [0:12:36]
How did Violet get her first round of investment, $150K for Lunch Actually? [0:18:48]
As a manager, how does Violet strike the balance between being firm and friendly? [0:24:21]
What is the process that Violet uses to find and hire great people? [0:30:36]
Violet Lim shares Lunch Actually subsidiary services?[0:39:18]
When did Violet take the stance of “abundance”? [0:48:17]
How did Violet grow her company through acquisition [0:52:00]
Why beautiful and successful woman finish last in dating? [0:57:08]
Violet Lim shares insight about “Lust at first sight” [1:10:23]
Violet Lim shares advice to increase your dating odds [1:21:08]
What are questions that one should ask themselves before “starting to date”? [1:25:58]
What are some interesting data  Lunch Actually collected? [1:30:58]
What are some yardsticks to measure before one commits to a marriage? [1:38:34]
How should one think of divorce? [1:45:38]
How did Violet Lim maintain the relationship with Claire Chiang? [1:50:38]

Links Mentioned

Connect with Violet Lim:
Website | Blog | Twitter | Facebook

Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others by  John T. Molloy
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
“Courage” Band by The Mindful Company

Thanks for listening!

And if you have any experiences with anything we talked about, I’d love for you to open up in the comments.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the bottom of the post.

Share your story in the comments.

Also, please leave an honest review for Misfits Podcast on iTunes. Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and I read each and every one of them.

Big thank you to Violet Lim. Until next time!

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  2. I’ll preface by saying that I am really enjoying your podcast series and your guests. Your choice of guests is excellent, a refreshing opportunity to hear from Singaporeans who have taken the unconventional route. I love that. 🙂

    Specifically to this podcast, again I have enjoyed it v much. Violet is very intelligent and well-spoken, and I have really learnt from her opinions and viewpoints, and enjoyed what she has said. As I do enjoy listening to you.

    However, there are a couple of things that I heard in this podcast that grated on me a little. Which I thought I’ll bring up.

    Violet gave the example of her friend who is alpha at work and at home, becomes the xiao nu ren. She also references specifically to the beautiful and successful women who finish last in the dating scene, and how maybe they have to reconsider being the xiao nu ren to “catch” the men they desire.

    It sits very uncomfortably for me as an Asian woman, who has tried to break away from the conventional expectation that the female has to play the lesser role to the male in a relationship. That relationships can work only if there is an alpha and a beta. That the female should consider being the beta if they want to attract an alpha male. This way of thinking feeds into the cycle where Asian men look for beta women and alpha women have to settle for beta men or take on a beta role, or be single.

    How about equal partnerships where both partners (hetero or not) work in equal partnership as a team to create a successful family and working life? Both parties are equal, regardless of gender or career success? Families that make decisions together taking into account the individual needs and the needs of the family. It is difficult, it requires sacrifices but I think it is doable and what I strive for. Expectations have to be realistic – if the decision is made to sacrifice income, then of course, family expenses have to be cut.

    The other thing that grated on me a little is what you said about how you can code-switch between the Board room and the taxi-uncle. I get it, and I code-switch alot too. But I try and remember that I am code-switching to suit the circumstance and the person, and not to a stereotype role. Therefore I take a slight exception to your stero-typing of the taxi-uncle. Which I am sure I am coming across as a annoying “holier-than-thou” person, and which I am sure I am guilty of the same stero-typing as well. But I am sure you didnt mean to insult and I do really try and be conscious not to do that myself. I think that the world will be a better place without sterotypes and therefore I thought it is worth mentioning.

    Anyway, its my 2-cents. I’ll go back to listening and enjoying. Thanks!

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