A Map to Finding Help: Navigating Coaching and Therapy

The first time I experienced a funk, my life was going great. I was healthy, traveling the world, working remotely for only 2 hours a day. Something just felt off and I didn’t know why. It took a year before I got the help I needed.

I could have saved myself months of mental agony.

Many friends (1, 2, and many more) also went through similar experiences, they wished they had gotten the help they needed sooner.

The way I see it, the abundance of information on (therapy modalities, psychology issues and resources) can lead to choice paralysis. On one hand, there is much help available. But when I am tired, hopeless, live in a society with a mental health stigma, and a never-ending to-do list, I am unable to take action.

My hope for this piece is to paint a map of the kinds of help available, to ease the decision-making process, and start the journey out of The Funk. No matter if you’re anxious, depressed, lost, suicidal, or stuck in an abusive relationship or job, I believe there is help out there.

There are two main forms of help available – coaching and therapy. By far, the biggest difference between coaching and therapy is the outcome and the approach. Coaches help clarify goals, point out obstacles, and co-design a plan of action. Depending on each coach’s specialization, they range from sports, business leadership, to performing arts and life transitions.

Licensed therapists are trained to diagnose and treat mental conditions from the DSM-5 or ICD (which gets updated as new scientific discoveries are found). They focus on mental health, relationship and emotional issues. Therapists tend to work with clients on a long-term basis, and the therapeutic long-term relationship is used to build trust and facilitate healing. It’s vital to find someone you feel comfortable with.

A simple difference is that coaching is more about goals. Therapy is more about healing. That said, goals and healing can be interrelated. For example, someone who wants to lose weight is unable to stick to a diet, because food is the way to remember the love of their late mother. And when this unsolved grief is understood and healed, career and relationship can get better too. Depending on the obstacles that are in the way, different methods and therapists can be considered.

Coaching is an unregulated industry, which means there is no policing. Anyone can call themselves a coach with no training or experience. Compared to a licensed therapist who goes through 3-4 years of training and passes their exams.

If you’re looking for a great therapist or coach, qualification is essential, but chemistry is more important. I recommend trying out at least 3 before deciding. Book trial sessions and journal about your experience. Get a feel of who would be better for you. That’s how I find my coach, Christina.

As for cost, coaches charge from $100 – $2,000 per hour (example). Licensed therapists charge from $35 – $400 per hour, depending on subsidies and experience.

There are also therapists who became coaches (example, example, example) and vice versa, coaches who learn about therapist modality (example, example). These small groups of people, who combine and use different techniques, can be very effective.

Another 2 terms worth noting are psychiatrist and counselor. Counselor and therapist can be used interchangeably, but only a psychiatrist can issue medication. Hence, a great psychiatrist can find the right balance of medications, and provide therapy.

There were 452 suicides in Singapore in 2020. One in five American adults experience mental illness each year. When you’re depressed, helpless and feel like you have nothing left, wasting your energy on the wrong kind of support can be costly and frustrating.

On a system level, we need to find better words that accurately label issues. A way to capture past testimonials, recognised and trusted by the culture, like Google or Amazon reviews. System solution for a system solution.

What do you do from here? Book a trial session with 2-3 therapists or coaches. Compare their analysis of your situation and suggested recommendations. Based on that, decide on the help that feels best for you.

I hope this can serve as a guide you in the right direction, save some money and get you the support you need.

In parting, I know that it can be difficult or even scary to ask for help, I was there. But remember, your loved ones care for you. You are offering them a branch to know you, help you and be closer to you. They don’t know if you don’t tell them. Reach out to your friends, tell them you like their support, and make time for them. Give your friends an opportunity to care for you. You matter.

And if you have a friend in despair, hold their hand through this, call them, and add them as a recurring event in your calendar. They would appreciate it, more than they know.

Special thanks to Pranay, Winifred, Abby, Amy, Lin, Jane, Jeane, Mitch and Munidasa.

All mistakes are my own.