Once I had a wedding intern (who was also a law student) to create a legal document. I was doing my best to keep it concise and she was trying her best to protect me with legal English. It was stupid.

A legal document might be an important marketing tool in certain business scenarios or if you’re a law firm where the presence of a dense block of text makes you look more official. If that’s the case, you might want to buy that or do a google search because stealing legal documents is always a fine thing to do. 

Generally, the goal is not to get sued (or sue others), not to have a legal document in case you get sued. You can write a legal document that will help you not get sued. There are two important points.

One, write it in really clear English so you both know what you actually agreed on. Process, timeline, deadlines, payment terms, additional fees and so on. That dramatically decreases the chances of you getting sued. 

Most of the time people sue because they are hurt and angry, not because they think they can make money. If they know what they signed, they’re way less likely to feel hurt and angry because they know what they signed. 

Two, which I learnt from Seth Godin, put a clause in that says, “Any disagreements will be resolved through binding, informal arbitration. You pick a lawyer. I pick a lawyer. The two lawyers pick a third lawyer. Submit up to five pages of material to state the case. That lawyer spends three hours looking at memos and decide who’s right. Everyone will abide by her decision.” End of discussion.

Both sides can’t outspend each other because the whole thing is only going to cost $1,500, 3 hours of a lawyer’s time. This way no one can bully their way into victory and the whole thing gets done in 3 hours. The best thing is you’ll almost never need it as you both will try to find a way to agree with each other because it’s not worth a crapshoot. 

In the case of getting paid, using a legal document to threaten someone is never a good idea. You end up paying more in legal fees. The way to do it is to get a deposit upfront, and then the rest of it before you submit the work. Get paid when you have maximum leverage. Of course, you can trust them to pay on-time later, but that’s on you. 

As the business goes forward and get bigger, what you want is a lawyer who works with you in the following way: 

You write down what you want an agreement to do. You do all the hard work of figuring out what you want. And then go to the lawyer and say, “All I’m paying you to do is make an agreement that does this. I’m not asking for advice about how I should win. I’m just asking you to make the agreement do this”.

It’s going to be a long time before you need what Airbnb has. Airbnb has millions of users that they have to worry about edge cases. You don’t have to worry about edge cases because you should be busy building your business, and when your business is big enough to afford a lawyer, you’ll know what to do. 

Thank you, Seth.

I have never met anyone who can bet their entire reputation on hiring perfectly, every time. And perhaps, just like breaking a fall, the first thing to learn before hiring is to fire someone (with their dignity intact).

I have fired a few people in my life. It was hard and it is still hard.

There are lots of people you can go to have drinks with. There are lots of people you can go bowling with. That doesn’t mean you would be happy to marry any of those people. A working relationship is the same.

At some point (hopefully earlier than later), you need to decide if firing is long-term happy. Would both of you be happier (in the long run) not working with each other? 

Sometimes, these choices can be easy. More often, these choices are hard as they are ambiguous, a mixed bag of good and bad things.

In this situation, it’s easy to lie to ourselves that with more time, more energy, and more love, things would get better. Chances are, it might.

And you might also be walking on a tight rope and it is not something you can afford. They might need 3 months, and if your company will be gone in 3 months, you don’t have 3 months.

Decide upfront. How much more time (can you afford) before you give up? How much more money (can you afford) before you give up?

Communicate that before firing someone. Tell them what they are good at, what’s not working, and how much time you can give them.

The day you decide to fire, start writing. Write because firing is hard. Write because words might run away when tears start rowing. Write because you’re not a psychopath that could fire someone without flinching.

It doesn’t mean that you are going to deliver the news over text. It just means that have thought it through first, deeply and kindly.

Hi Dione,

I’m writing with a situation today.

As you know, in September we decided to give each other a go at working together. When I said yes, I fully believed we had great synergy and we would be able to work well together.

In November, after two month of working together, it is now clear that we have very different philosophies on deadline and it has been causing friction at work.

It pains me to say this, but I need to let you go. You deserve to work with an incredible team and I’m sorry I’m not able to deliver as I thought I could. While this might work out, I (and the company) don’t have enough resources and bandwidth to commit further.

I apologise for causing you much inconvenience and likely missed opportunities. I will reimburse your pay till the end of the month and write your recommendation letter. You can take the time to look for suitable work opportunities. Let me know if there are any questions I can answer or any other way I can support your career moving forward.

– Bryan

Now, this is really important. This is not a performance review. This is not a coaching report. Even if you’re the best co-worker or manager, in this message, you assume responsibility. Because things could be better if you made better choices. You’ve contributed to this situation. And you’re here to make things better.

All that said, this is going to be difficult. And it may be the most difficult thing you’re going to do in every way. How you deliver the message is entirely up to you. Allow generosity to take the lead and you’ll probably discover that it’s easier to find the guts.

Science is just about the coolest thing that happened to us.

Not because it’s always right. Hardly. It wasn’t that long ago that we believed that the sun revolved around the earth, eating a lot of bread is good, and doctors don’t wash their hands before surgery. So, probably half of what we know today might be false.

It’s not surprising that people are skeptical.

Except that is not what science is. Science is not about getting a whole bunch of people to agree on something, that’s politics/marketing.

Science is a process. It’s not pretending it has the right answer, it’s merely the best process to get us closer to the right answer.

Someone makes a scientific claim. The claim makes predictions that are meaningful, novel and falsifiable. You and I need to be able to replicate and verify the claim independently. And counter experiment, that may prove the claims to be false, need to be able to run in the real world.

Then, round and round it goes.

You’re not allowed to have some magical equation just because you are in charge. You’re not allowed to change the explanation of what has just happened. You must begin again, from first principal, make a new argument, show new observations, and make a better prediction.

Science isn’t something to believe or not to believe. It’s a process. It’s something to do.

Celebrating the fourth year of my weight loss journey, I’ve finally gotten the hang of it. From 86kg, I’m about 75kg now (with many ups and downs). I’m on track to hit 72kg by the end of the year (which will be my lightest since I’m 16).

Withings smart scale – has recorded my weight for 4 years. Every morning, it tells me the truth about my weight. I learn the relationship between the food I eat and my weight, daily. I can’t stress enough about this feedback loop. An aside, in 2016, the company was sold to Nokia and it suffered poorly. The founder had since brought it back.

Tim Ferriss’ Slow-Carb diet was my first introduction to weight loss. I lost 11kg (from 86kg to 75kg in 12 months). There were others that lost 100 pounds from it. The diet works. But sometimes, I eat emotionally.

The Broccoli test taught me physical hunger from emotional hunger.

Jerzy and Aniela taught me that losing weight has almost nothing related to excise. Exercise is for posture, flexibility, power, speed, and almost never about losing weight.

I use large Mason jars to prepare delicious salads every weekend, 6 jars a week. The fridge is always stocked with delicious and healthy food when hunger strikes. And remove all junk food from storage.

James Clear builds on the cult classic The Power of Habit and wrote Atomic Habits with actionable strategies. A big-picture view of how to build and keep habits.

Get buy-in from friends and family. It can be as easy as “hey, I’m trying to get to the best shape of my life and I need your help. This is my plan.” Or as formal as a contract to show that you are serious. (editable version)

Airtable or Instagram can be hacked to track food intake (uploading photos of meals). I use it to stay accountable for my goal’s contract. And it’s free.

On the to the goal, unrealistic mini goal create necessary self-suffering. I aim to lose 0.5kg per week, not anything more.

Sometimes, I travel to a new country and “need” to try every single restaurant. I gain a lot of weight. I use intermittent fasting as a reset. 8 hours eating window (from noon – 8 pm). Zero is a beautiful app to manage intermittent fasting. Thanks for the gift, Kevin.

Finally, there is a trend of online weight-loss coaches. They are expensive but it might be worth it to have a guide on the journey, someone who has been through it. Just know that if you work with one, you need to like and trust them for it to work. Let them go if you don’t like them.

Here’s to a lifetime of eating good, looking good and feeling good.

[Updated 30 March 2023]

If you’re having trouble “finding yourself” so that you can succeed in the world, it’s not your fault. Because the only authentic version of “who you are” is a few days old, naked and afraid, pooping in your pants.

Authenticity, for me, is doing what you promised, not “being who you are”.

That’s because ‘being’ is too elusive and we are notoriously bad at judging that. Doing, on the other hand, is an act that can be seen by all.

If it acts like a cat, it’s a cat. Doesn’t matter if the cat thinks it’s a dog, it’s still a cat.

You could spend your day wondering if what you say you are is really you. Or you could just act like that all the time.

The question, then, is what do you want to be special about, and who do you want to be special to? How can you keep that promise, again and again?

That’s good enough. Save the identity crisis for later.

(HT Seth Godin)

The rationale for finding the meaning of life is that it would unknot the existential angst, and give direction to a good life, which will ultimately allow us to be happy.

But what happens after everyone found the ONE meaning of life?

It’s interesting to note that we would be trapped. We would all have to live to that one answer and be like robots, each one competing with the other to fulfill that singular meaning more than the others.

And for the rest of us that don’t think that it is worth it, well that’s the end of that.

It might sound gloomy but the insight is to realize that the question is more important than the answer. And to bring peace to the existential angst, consider Agrippa’s Trilemma.

There are 3 groups of answers.

1. The answers end up in an axiom and everything falls on the one thing being true.
– Because math.
– Because universe.
– Because nature.
– Because god.
– Because Big Bang.
– Because simulation theory.

2. There are no answers you could give that wouldn’t have another why. The why’s just keep accumulating, and as Richard Feynman said, it would be turtles all the way down. Infinite regress.
If I say the meaning of life is to please God.
Then you asked, which god? Well, Hindu God.
Why that god?
Then why, why, why, why and why?

3. One answer hinges on the other answer being true. Circular reasoning.
“Wellington is in New Zealand. Therefore, Wellington is in New Zealand.”
“There is no god because there is no such thing as a god.”
“Well, A.
Why A? Because of B.
Well, why B? Because of A.”

So, what is the meaning of life?

What it boils down to is that you have to choose your own meaning.

You get to decide if this is a play that I’m going to or that I’m just watching?
You get to decide if there is a self-actualization dance that I’m doing.
You get to decide if there is a specific thing that you desire just for the heck of it.

It can be about generosity, connection, and possibilities. Did you open the door for someone else? Have you inspired someone today? Or if you have made things better.

The opportunity lies in knowing that if the meaning we choose is actually helping us achieve the things we seek.

[HT Naval].

A series of fortunate event, I have achieved everything on my bucket list. It was disorientating.

I looked up at an old list of ‘fun-to-do’ projects, not knowing how to choose what’s next. I was paralysed. Then bored. Then, agitated by my boredom.

Inspired by my friend, JR Hinds, I took a month off in Taiwan and went searching for my values. In hopes that it will be the compass for the next chapter of my life (and it did). It helped me get unstuck and excited for life.

First things first, definition are important as we are building the truth. And this is how I define values:

A set of ideas, rules and principles that I’ve looked at very carefully about myself and have deliberately chosen. This is a habit. This is a way of life. I’m going to stay this way forever. I’m not going to compromise on it. I don’t want to live life any other way. I don’t need to prove it to others. It shouldn’t change much over time. It shouldn’t be profitable or easy. If they were, then no one would write books on it.

I started by listing down all the values that I hold close to my heart. That’s the easy part. Next, I questioned each of them, then argued with myself to keep them.

Growth.
Passion.
Balance.
Family.
Do dope shit
Honesty.
Integrity.
Kind.
Thoughtful.
Positive.
Happy.
Powerful.
Freedom.
Hustle.

For many days following… I stared into the abyss trying to expand, explain and argue for these values.

• How do I define them?

• How do I apply them?

• Why do I want to sacrifice my limited time for these sets of things?

Here’s an example of one of them:

Honesty

• Basically, I want to able to just be me.

• I never want to be in an environment or around people where I have to watch what I say.

• If I disconnect what I’m thinking from what I’m saying, that create multiple threads in my mind, that means that I’m no longer in the moment, and that means that I now have to be future-planning or past regretting every time I’m talking to somebody. Which means that I am wasting energy.

• Part of it just means I want to be free. Part of being free means that I can say what I think and think what I say.

• That way, I can be highly congruent and integrated. I want to live my life without contradiction.

• Richard Feynman famously said, “You should never, ever fool anybody and you are the easiest person to fool.”

• The moment you tell somebody else something that’s not honest, you’ve lied to yourself. Then you’ll start believing your own lie. Then that will disconnect you from reality and take you down the wrong road.

• I don’t mean go out of my way volunteering negative or nasty things. I would combine radical honesty with an old rule that Warren Buffet has, which is to praise specifically, criticise generally.

• If I have a criticism of someone, then don’t criticise the person, criticise the general approach or the class of activities. If I have to praise someone, then I always try and find the person who is the best example of what I’m praising and then that praise that person, specifically. That way people’s ego and identities, which we all have, don’t work against you, they work for you.

For those I can’t argue for, I let go of them. I gave up on authenticity, passion, balance, growth, power and hustle. I kept Integrity, freedom, open-mindedness, positivity, long term and fun.

Going through this exercise, I had a few learning:

• One can be perfectly happy without values. That’s what babies do. The fewer values I have, the easier it is to be happy. I can make decisions with a less mental load. Allowing me to be less in my mind and be more in the present.
  
• I picked up values (unconsciously) through my upbringing, experiences and the culture. Then I carry them around in my life without examination, rent-free.
  
• The invisible values that grip my life are the ones I don’t talk about – depression, sex and money.
  
• A lot of finding great relationships, great coworkers, great lovers, wives and husbands, is finding other people where your values line up, then the little things don’t matter.

Finally, I put it all together into a poem. It is an easy format to recite and remember these values.

The Life and Lessons of Bryan
(Long Mission Poem)

I live honestly without contradictions.
To fool no one, and myself.
To find the nuance 
From an assumption, an aphorism, to a fact of life.
To see reality as it is
And always be a fool to the truth.

I redefine possibilities. 
First for myself, then for the world. 
Because I’m a little crazy. 
Because “good enough” isn’t. 
Because what I do says who I am. 

I see the good.
From the person beside me,
to the things that happened to me.
In changing my perspective,
I give others a new story.

I play long-term games.
Because the best returns in life,
comes from compounded interest. 
In love, in relationships, in wealth, in health.

I find courage, 
to run from the cynics and the angst, 
to admit my flaws and stand up for my truth, 
to do the right things when no one is looking,
to do it all over again tomorrow. 

To live my life with fun, ecstasy, brilliance, proactivity and above all, integrity. 

And here I am, with a new compass for life.

Write down your values. Understand them. Fight for them. It may take you a week or even a month, but it could be the most important thing you do this year. Certainly, it was for me.

####

The photo was a lighthouse at the southernmost tip of Taiwan.

Almost the opposite. We must care and even obsess about the people you want to help.

But… Who are these people? And what kind of business are you building?

To own a thriving business, you don’t need everyone. Just someone.

The goal is not to pander to the masses and undo the very things that made you special. The goal is to be special to the right someone.

Who are these people and how you are special is entirely up to you.

Trying to make everyone happy is a sure path to unhappiness and bankruptcy.

Shun the non-believer and make things better for the people to miss you when you were gone.

####

The photo was taken in a funky little Airbnb in Kaohsiung, Taiwan while travelling with Paul.